Why Cant We Just Get Along?

[twitter]It’s been quite the week here on Babble.

Cody’s 10 Things Moms Do Better Than Dads got things going with what was intended to be a Mother’s Day ode turned sour.

When Babble’s Facebook page asked if anyone would add something to the list, dozens of smug Moms added “everything,” while Dads were pleading to be treated as equals in the parenting equation.

Then, when a study found that 3/4 of Women Love Their Kids More Than Their Husband hit the streets this week, the women broke into song again deriding the men that gave their children life.

While many didn’t like the question, didn’t think it was fair, and simply said the love they have for their kids and their husband “is different.” Others saw it as a chance to take a swipe at men.

I Got A New Bike For My Birthday

[twitter]A spring birthday is awesome.

Every couple of years you can be guaranteed of a big birthday present.  With my oldest turning 5 at the end of the month, that big birthday present came early in the form of a new bike.

Talk about the best day ever.

Children’s bikes are measured by tire size.  They start at 12 inches and take leaps from there to 24 inches and beyond.

Bikes with 12 to 18 inch wheels are usually found with training wheels already attached, the 20″ and up models are for those closer to 10 yrs of age.

Here’s a children’s bike sizing chart for kids to help you gauge where you should be looking in the store, remember it’s just a guide and you should get your kid to hop on for sizing before you buy it.

[twitter]Mother’s Day is another one of those holidays where men must genuflect before the important women in their life and apologize.

Just as with Valentine’s Day, the impetus of Mother’s Day lies on the man to stop down and say “Woah, I really don’t appreciate anything you do 363 days of the year.”

Dismiss Mother’s Day as a Hallmark Holiday if you must, but it does serve as a necessary reminder for those of us who are on selfish cruise control most of the year to wake up and appreciate how Mom manages to get it done.

By giving us the joy of 2 boys, my wife has put her career on hold for nearly 4 years. She has missed raises and promotions, and has moved away from her home to support me and my career choices. Only now is she able to try to find work and is facing the stigma of employers questioning whether a mom of 2 can be loyal to a job. That is sacrifice.

Still, in our house, my wife is the command centre. While I’m blindly focused on my “work,” she’s making sure cards are sent to family members who are celebrating. She keeps an eye on activities and makes sure my boys get inspired at art classes, soccer or library sessions. While I can take care of the cooking and groceries each week, she makes sure the house is clean, the kids are bathed and the snacks are made.

Do I take my wife for granted? Oh, yeah – you bet. I’d like to not be like that, and am thankful the second Sunday in May rolls around to force me to focus on something other than myself.

A spa session, a bouquet of flowers, croissants and coffee. It’s not a lot, but it’s something that says “I appreciate all that you have given up for the good of us.”

Crossposted from The Blog According to Buzz. Originally published May 7, 2011.

[twitter]Last summer we registered our 4 yr old in a program called Pedalheads. It’s a tiered program for kids that teaches them bike safety, and how to ride a bike. My wife’s friends swore by it, so once a week we packed up our boy and bike and took him to a park to ride with other kids.

At the time he still had training wheels on his bike. By the end of the first class they were gone. I had missed one of those ultimate parenting milestones. The one where you watch your kid fall, then pick your kid up, and encourage him and hold him and then .. let go, and watch them fly – on two wheels.

My son did all that, with an 18 year old camp counsellor holding the back of his seat. Not his dad.

It’s called outsourced parenting, and more of us are doing it.

Time Magazine / New York Pride Parade

[twitter]I’m going to step up on a soap box for a few hundred words here and offer some editorial on the big headlines of the week.

I am fully behind Babble‘s Love Bomb in response to Time Magazine‘s cover shot with Jamie-Lynne Grumet breastfeeding her 4-year-old and the “Are You Mom Enough?” headline. Still, it’s necessary to look at the tactics being used in the process and how they’re setting things back further than moving them forward.

In a Q&A associated with the attention-grabbing cover shoot, Jamie-Lynne Grumet admitted breastfeeding 3-, 4-, 5-, and 6-year-olds is “not socially normal. The more people see it, the more it’ll become normal in our culture. That’s what I’m hoping. I want people to see it.”

But placing something so shocking on the front page of Time Magazine is not going to underline the acceptance of breastfeeding; it’s merely shining a big, bright spotlight on the belief that this practice is bizarre.

It’s like the flashy gay pride parades — by being shocking and in-your-face, you do more harm than good.

It’s classic link bait. Say something as outrageous as possible to inflame as much debate as possible. It’s like the Time publishers went to school on Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian in public manipulation.

And the internet has chomped on the bait hook, line, and sinker.

The article features a lithe 26 yr old mom of two proudly breastfeeding her 3 yr old. Inside the piece Jamie Lynne Grumet talks about how she herself was breastfed until she was 6. “It’s really warm. It’s like embracing your mother, like a hug,” she recalls. “You feel comforted, nurtured and really, really loved. I had so much self-confidence as a child, and I know it’s from that. I never felt like she would ever leave me. I felt that security.”

Breast is best, but … it doesn’t always work for everyone. I maintain that extreme behaviours like this do little to encourage breastfeeding as a norm, but they show it as some freaky outlying attitude. Breastfeeding is natural, perfect, and the best way to nourish children. This pose, and Ms Grumet’s experience and lifestyle, doesn’t promote that.

“I stay at home. I blog from home. And I homeschool,” she says.

She also admits to reading every single book by Attachment Parenting prophet, William Sears. “I feel like he really is doing this because he knows this (attachment parenting) is best.”

I’ve been vocal in my defense of Ad-Lib Parenting. Something I also feel is simply using common-sense. I don’t need a book to tell me how to raise my kids. I will listen to their needs, be attentive to their wants, and do what’s best in each situation. At times that may mean being a helicopter, at others I may be free-range. It’s situational, not gospel.

The only piece of wisdom she offers is at the end of the article.

“There seems to be a war going on between conventional parenting and attachment parenting, and that’s what I want to avoid,” she concedes. “I want everyone to be encouraging. We’re not on opposing teams. We all need to be encouraging to each other, and I don’t think we’re doing a very good job at that.”

So why did Time even bother with the piece? Oh, right – link bait. I just wonder if Time will try it again come mid-June.

More on this topic at Babble.com’s Kid Scoop: What Does Breastfeeding Have To Do Gay With Pride?

From taking kids to restaurants, to organizing birthday parties, to how to get kids to eat vegetables, it’s amazing how much wisdom one can have without ever having experienced parenting.

I was the same way, to be honest. Parenting is so easy when you’re not in it. A+B=C every single time, except the kids don’t understand that logic, and variables are tossed into every single decision that make no sense.

So if you don’t have kids, you don’t get an opinion, frankly. Shut it. You don’t get it. You don’t understand. Stop telling us what to do, please.

The latest childless genius is Cameron Diaz. She’s making the rounds for What To Expect. She has never had children of her own, but plays a pregnant woman in the movie and so the interviewers are asking her parenting related questions.

And while her advice may be controversial, this time I actually agree with the childless expert.

Domestic Goddess

[twitter]Moms like appliances and flowers. Dads like barbecues and tools. Those are the stereotypical messages marketers will blast at us for the months of May and June.

They’re based on old-school gender roles that say Moms run the family, and house, while Dads rule the yard and garage. Okay, I’ll give you that is most likely the case, but roles have evolved in many of our families to the point where we’re all doing everything.

Still – some will bristle at the notion that Mom receive an appliance or some other housework related tool for Mother’s Day. The opposition says it underlines what Moms have to do around the house and enslaves them even more to the chores instead of giving them free time for themselves. There’s nothing indulgent about receiving a vacuum for Mother’s Day. Or is there?

I bought my wife a vacuum for Mother’s Day last year and guess what? She loved it.

A tire monster guards Nishi Rokugo in Tokyo - via Mentalfloss

[twitter]Kids + Playgrounds = Best Day Ever.

It’s one of my absolute favorite things to do with my kids. I climb up on that rock face, squeeze my butt down the slide and deke around the poles right there with them. Okay, part of the reason is that I’m worried my 2 yr old is going to hit a gap and go for a tumble, but still – I love it.

We try to explore different ones all around our neighborhood. There’s Yellow Park, Secret Park, Round Park, Tricky Park, Superhero Park, Windy Park, and more.

Every single one we go to is different, with a fun theme that my sons investigate with reckless abandon. Then, on the way home, each new find is christened with a name – which it makes it easy to determine which park they want to revisit. (Kids don’t do well with “you mean the one on 85th St?”)

Still, despite all the great parks we’ve found in our area (especially during this Screen Free Week), none come close to matching the genius and creativity of 18 of the World’s Most Amazing Playgrounds.

Do You Have Any Fours?

[twitter]Screen Free Week continues around our house, and while I may have grabbed my phone once or twice, it’s actually much easier for the kids than it is on the parents. My wife really misses Victor Newman, I miss the 6 o’clock news, the kids aren’t missing anything.

We’ve played tag, soccer, and chased bubbles in the backyard, we’ve had geocaching adventures, and we’ve played cards. Lots of cards.

Cards are a great game for kids. It teaches them numbers, math, strategy, patterns, and they fit perfectly into our theme of Screen Free Week.

My 5 year old has loved playing Go Fish! (or Goldfish as he likes to call it). And here’s the thing: I had forgotten how to play. Utterly, and totally, had forgotten how to play Go Fish. And Crazy Eights. And Old Maid.

After the jump, a list of more than 8 Card Games you can play with your kids (and the rules in case you forgot how to play too).