DadCAMP

Tractorland

Buzz — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:00:50 +0000

Can you think of a better name for a place to take a toddler?

When I first told some non-parent friends about Tractorland, they assumed it was an amusement park like Disneyland or Legoland. And it is – in the mind of a toddler.

Tractorland is a Kubota dealership just outside of Calgary. We passed it on the way in to town and I made a mental note to bring Zacharie back. After all, when we took him to Hastings Park in Vancouver, he was most excited about the tractors grooming the track in between races instead of the horses in the paddock.

My son loves tractors. His favourite episode of Mighty Machines is the farm episode. He can name them all: combine harvester, plow, spreader, tractor, backhoe, baler, etc.

So can you imagine the thrill he gets when he goes to a parking lot filled with tractors?

“Daddy, I wanna drive this one!” He would scream before spotting a different one across the lot and waving “Hi Tractor Tom!”

For 30 minutes he scurried from rig to rig. Waving, giggling, explaining, naming and having a blast. You can spend whatever to get in to an amusement park for a day, but the smile wouldn’t have been bigger than the one my son had for free at a tractor dealership.

Got a Mighty Machines thrilled toddler?

Take a weekend day trip to your city works yard to see all the garbage trucks parked in a row. Get outside the city and find your neighborhood “tractorland” where the farmers go to get their machines. Heck, just go to your local pickup truck dealer and let him point and drool. It’s free to look around, the propreitors are used to the toddler attention and are friendly and your son will swear it was the best day ever.

Dads Change Diapers Too

Buzz — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:04:18 +0000

Sometimes advertising can be annoying the way it generalizes and stereotypes.

Specifically the ads that always seem to have dads as mindless meatheads who mean well but can never seem to get anything right when it comes to their family.

Mom is the superhero, dad is the bumbling sidekick.

Lame.

There are, however, some ads that nail the notion of playing up our do gooding nature and sometimes ineffectiveness.

Take the latest series of Huggies ads. They’re real and honest slices of life that perfectly define what it’s like to be a dad.

Honestly, how many times have you had a screaming firehose in your face as you go through your turn on the diaper rotation?

Hilarious because it’s true.

Oh – an aside .. some might say the solution to the firehose is to buy a peepee teepee for your son. I’m including that on the “things people tell you need to buy when you’re having a baby but don’t really need” list that I will post soon.

Fellow DadCAMPer, Akash, is a fan of this one:

Any dad worthy of his neighborhood playground knows he needs. those. shoes.

We love them because they’re true. They are honest slices of life that every dad can relate to. THAT’S what it’s like being a dad.

Thanks Huggies for showing Dads as real, caring and active parents instead of bumbling fools.

No disclosure needed for posting these ads, we’re Pampers people – have tried out Huggies, but they just didnt work well for our boys.

Image: Dad finishes a diaper change by Ajoch on Flickr

I’m Daniel. You’re Roberto.

Buzz — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 13:16:49 +0000

The one thing I rave about the most about being a dad is the ability to reimagine life by seeing it through the eyes of my children.

Having a toddler discovering everything for the first time resets your odometer and lets you relive the magic of bubbles, marshmallows and the moon.

Zacharie seriously jumps up and down if we’re out at night and he’s sees the moon.

“HI MOON!!” He’ll scream, waving wildly.

Recently Zacharie has taken to road hockey. As you can imagine, it was proud day in Canadiana when we took to the driveway with sticks in hand to pass an orange ball back and forth. Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers talks about the 10 000 hours it takes to master a skill. Z has about 9990 left before he makes the NHL.

My favourite part of these road hockey passing sessions are when we hovers of the ball before taking a shot and announces “I’m Daniel. You’re Roberto.”

The first 2 hockey posters he had were of Daniel Sedin and Roberto Luongo. His proclamation takes me back to the days when I would imagine myself as Ken Dryden, Richard Brodeur or Guy Lafleur.

He’s only 2 and a half and already his imagination is running wild to pretend to be the superstars he sees on the ice. He even lets his role playing run to The Backyardigans where he will announce he’s Tyrone, Jen is Uniqua and I’m Pablo.

A child’s enthusiasm for life and fresh perspective on the world and naked ambition to be anything in the world at anytime… it’s what I love about being a dad.

I Forgot I Had A Second Son

Buzz — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 21:16:18 +0000

I am a father of 2. I have to constantly remind myself of this.

Zacharie is closing in on 3, Charles was born in January. You can imagine the level of interaction the two of them can provide is vastly different.

Zacharie is eager to race, read, play road hockey and chat up a storm. Charles sits in his bouncy chair and screams.

We recently moved and for a few weeks my wife was left alone in the old home while I set up the new one. I called one night to chat with her, and then asked how Zacharie was doing. She told a story and then said “and Charlie’s sleeping well now, too.”

I stopped cold.

I’d totally forgotten I had a second son. Had completely and utterly forgotten.

You often hear stories about how parents have favourite children, but I always thought I could love both my children equally.

I guess for that to happen, I’ll have to actually remember they both exist.

Christmas Shopping at Ikea

Buzz — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:07:02 +0000

There are dangers in getting all of your Christmas shopping done in one morning. First, you’ll hear ridicule from all your male friends who prefer the sport and tradition of rushing around on Christmas Eve. Second, you really won’t be done. There will always be some extra things you’ll just have to get as the clock counts down to the 25th.

To say ‘we’re done’ when it comes to buying gifts for Zacharie would be a lie, but we’ve got the big things out of the way and we did it all in one morning at Ikea.

Here’s what my son will find under the tree this year:

Duktig mini kitchen – the boy loves to cook
Lillabo train set – same gauge as the popular tv show model, way way way cheaper
assorted Titta puppets and hats (not on the website)

Even if your kid’s not in to kitchen stuff, a visit to the children’s section of Ikea is a good idea to check out their revolving tickle trunk of puppets and plush toys. We’ve been buying every puppet we can since Zacharie was born. They don’t last long in the stores, the quality is excellent and they’re really fun to play with. Just now, at 2 1/2 is Zacharie starting to appreciate creating his own character voices for the dozen puppets we’ve picked up.

New in the Ikea play section this year are hats. Brilliant, fun hats. Potted plants, fruit bowls, flowers, jesters, planes, birthday cakes and more. All for just $5, like the puppets.

Even if you have an infant, stock the tickle trunk while you can. And if you’re really on the ball, you can just put them away and save them for their 3rd birthday or Christmas.

Toddler 101: Temper Tantrums

Buzz — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:26:46 +0000

These are notes taken from Toddler 101, a program presented by our daycare where Gillian Ashley-Martz, a Registered Clinical Counsellor, a mother of two and Certified Canadian Family Educator who has been working with families for over ten years taught new parents how to get through the early years.

The part of the presentation that had parents scrambling to take notes and leaning forward paying attention was a 7 step process in conflict resolution.

HOW TO DEAL WITH TEMPER TANTRUMS

1. press PAUSE button
(take a deep breath and gather yourself, don’t get sucked in to the situation)
2. REMIND myself that the only person I can control is me
(look back at the toddler’s job description: they’re just doing their job by challenging boundaries)
3. REFRAME how I think affects how I feel which affects how I react
(you get back what you put into it)
4. CONTROL the SITUATION not the child
(the key is to stay neutral and calm – dont step into the drama. Remove the object of frustration and remove yourself if you’re losing it)
5. DONT GIVE IN and do follow through with consequences. Be CONSISTENT
(reinforce that you mean what you say)
6. REGROUP help them restore equilibrium to REASSURE them that they will learn self control
7. ROLE MODEL self control and how to handle powerful negative feelings

The key to remember is that the toddler is looking for attention and testing boundaries to assert their independence. When you see them do something right, express how it makes you feel. Ask them how it makes them feel. Once kids have a label, they will live up or down to that label, between 0 and 6 they’re constantly developing beliefs about themselves.

So make it a positive belief and make it often. It takes 10 positives to delete 1 negative.

Here is a final thought I put out on Twitter the night of the seminar: Honestly? parenting seminars just cause us to overthink things. we were BORN to have kids. it shouldnt be hard. #toddler101

If you’re really struggling and can’t find resolution, then maybe there’s some Dr Phil styled advice in this Toddler 101 series, but really – if you’re a rational and smart person, you’re going to be a good parent. Really, you’ll be fine.

Photo on Flickr by Citril

DadCAMP3 On The Big Screen

Buzz — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:27:00 +0000

It was Hockey Night at DadCAMP last night as the boys got together for a little hockey action at the Rink on Renfrew.

DadCAMP is all about Dads getting together and meeting other Dads and enjoying some of the best days ever with our kids. This one didn’t disappoint.

We snagged seats on the aisle next to where the Zamboni comes out on the ice – Zambonis are the tractors of hockey, a sure fire hit with boys. Our seats were right in the front up against the glass and behind the net meaning we got a great view of the action and lots of banging hits right in our face.

Throw in some popcorn, a couple of appearances on the big screen and a great time was had by all. It was kind of like a baseball game, the score and game didn’t matter, it was all about being with friends. The Giants lost 5-0. Didn’t matter. We were at DadCAMP enjoying another best day ever.

Today Is World Diabetes Day

Buzz — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:24:28 +0000

Today is World Diabetes Day.

Type 1 Diabetes is the type that usually affects kids. There’s nothing you can do to stop that switch from being flicked one day. You’re born with it.

My friend, Kerri Morrone Sparling’s blog is called Six Until Me. She discovered she had Type 1 Diabetes when she was 6 years old. She talks about the challenges of living with diabetes, how she manages her daily life, and how she’s finding community online.

Dr Brian Rodrigues is a researcher at UBC. He does a great job explaining what Sir Frederick Banting did with the discovery of insulin and how his research is helping people live longer lives with diabetes.

Sandy Struss is a motivational speaker and has been living with Type 1 Diabetes since she was 17. She tells us of the day she was diagnosed and how having an insulin pump gives her hope.

These are interviews I aired last year when I was a radio host at 95Crave in Vancouver. Not being on the air this year, I’m using the web to shine a light on diabetes and this World Diabetes Day.

Do me a favour, listen to the interviews, become aware and help me in my fundraising for Team Diabetes so that headway can be made in diabetes research before the switch is flicked on us or our children.

Toddler 101: The Job Description

Buzz — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:47:12 +0000

These are notes taken from Toddler 101, a program presented by our daycare where Gillian Ashley-Martz, a Registered Clinical Counsellor, a mother of two and Certified Canadian Family Educator who has been working with families for over ten years taught new parents how to get through the early years.

To better understand why toddlers do the things they do, Gillian presented “the toddler job description”

STRUGGLE FOR INDEPENDENCE FROM THE PARENT AND SELF MASTERY
Toddlers are still trying to develop from the dependence they needed as an infant to the independence they feel as toddlers. It’s a slow resolving conflict since they havent fully developed a sense of self and that they are separate people. Toddlers still believe everything is part of them, so they cant give anything up -
they dont know it any other way.

Just think of how they express themselves: they NEED the blanket. They NEED their soother. They NEED to have their favourite pjs on.

Toddlers want to have their parents around, but dont like the fact they want/need you so they push away, then they dont like you away, so they pull you back.

It’s all about a fear of separation trying to balance with drive for autonomy. Gillian compared what toddlers go through as to what teenagers try to balance when searching for independence.

PARENTAL WILL VS CHILD’S COUNTERWILL
Children learn who they are by resisting parental will and asserting their own. It’s a natural way to find their own personal boundaries and abilities. When we feel someone else trying to take control, we will assert our own control, even if we know that the controlling will is right.

Toddlers don’t say no to resist you, they do it to create space to figure out who they are as a separate entity. Toddlers will resist any idea or thought that didn’t first occur in their own mind

TODDLERS WANT TO DO EVERYTHING FOR THEMSELVES TO DEVELOP SENSE OF SELF MASTERY
While toddlers want to do things on their own, they still lack the cognitive skills to do this effectively. The result is frustration and melt downs.

It’s important, then, for parents to seek out situations where the toddlers can succeed. The more we try to control the more they’re hardwired to resist, we end up feeling controlled by them

It becomes a perpetual circle. The more they try to control us, we try to control them and they become more defiant. These struggles mostly happen around food and toilet training.

Parents then need to step back and see how they’re reinforcing the behaviour. With food, for example, if you show over attention and worry about food and negative behaviour, you’re relinquishing control and you reinforce that behaviour.

Remember, the toddler is looking for situations where they’re successful, and if they’re successful at being rebellious – that’s the behaviour they’ll continue.

STRUGGLE TO BALANCE CONTROL OF PARENT WITH LEARNING SELF CONTROL
Babies are born with 100 billion brain cells and many of them are not connected. It’s the interaction with parents in the infant years that makes the map. So toddlers have a fully mapped out brain – their interaction with the environment wires the emotional part of the brain with the knowledge part.

As parents of toddlers, we need to be frontal lobes, showing them how to make decisions. This is an important developmental stage and requires parental behaviour modelling. Whatever you put out is what you will get back.

The toddler years are the key times to reinforce positive behaviours. If they get your attention behaving, that’s how they will continue to seek your attention.

Coming next in Toddler 101 is Part 3: The 7 steps to successfully avoid temper tantrums.

Car Seat 101: Research Tools

Buzz — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 14:45:55 +0000

There are many resources for car seat research online, my friend Karen Hamilton (@tinybites) has been kind enough to pass along the tools she’s discovered as she preps for baby #1 in the new year (right around the same time we’ll be escorting Chuck in to the world).

Infant or Convertible

The first thing to choose is something we’ve tackled before in Car Seat 101: do you want a convertible car seat or an infant only to bring your bundle home from the hospital?

Karen is going with the latter.

“Definitely going with an infant carrier based on what practically every car seat rep has said about convertibles – they’re often too large at shoulder height to accommodate a newborn even if your baby meets the weight requirement,” she said.

The decision is tough for some since infant seats are used only for the first few months when your infant is unable to support their head.

Buy New vs Buy Used vs Rent

“Still haven’t decided whether we’re buying or renting. If we buy, we’re buying new and buying an infant carrier with a higher upper weight limit, like the Peg Perego,” she says. “We have plans for a second child in a few years so for us it’s worth it to have something we can re-use. Peg Perego is on our shortlist because of its fit with the B.O.B. sports stroller that we have.”

When it comes to buying a used car seat, Karen echoes the warning I’ve heard from many professionals:

“The safety rating may have held back when it was purchased but what assurances would you have that nothing major happened to the car seat since it left the store?”

We were lucky that we were able to borrow an infant seat from a friend when Zacharie was born. Unfortunately the seat has since expired. (The plastic does have a shelf life. The expiry date of your car seat will be clearly printed on the seat bottom.)

The rental option is not something I was not familiar with, and Karen explained that some hospitals used to rent them back in the day, so it might be worth checking at the hospital you’re delivering with.

Karen added a PS:

“Also found an article about the Mico infant car seat, which is undergoing a safety review by Transport Canada. It’s sold under several brands so you may want to share this article with DadCAMP readers.”

What research resources have been helpful for you in picking a car seat and deciding between infant and convertible?

Flickr photo from Joe Shlabotnik